i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
