it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize