remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
