Can i not drive my cunt home
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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