I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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