Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
