dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
