Can i not drive my cunt home
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize