i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
