i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
