I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
