she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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