yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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