I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
