yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
