Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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