it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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