You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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