told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Holy shit dude........stairs
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
