Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
