Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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