I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
