is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
