there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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