You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
