I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
