we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
