did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize