He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
