Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
