I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
