Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
