I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
