Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We need to rekindle our bromance
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
