You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
