: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
