Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
