does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
