there's paper in my vomit.
nutella sex= disaster
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
