Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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