CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
