she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
