If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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