I have demons in me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
