I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
