I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
