I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
