your room smells of hookers.
And success
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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