i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
