We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
