I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
