If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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