Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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