I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
