But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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