If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
