I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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