i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
