So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize