just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
