The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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