i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
