for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
