Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
