Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
