I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
