we have officially lost it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
